


The Persuasive Power of Kelpies and Taxes

by Mek



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, Future Fic, M/M, POV Outsider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-04
Updated: 2014-03-04
Packaged: 2018-01-14 12:39:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1266925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mek/pseuds/Mek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John finds out on a Tuesday that Stiles and Derek got married.  He runs into Ronda from the County Clerks Office who happily congratulates him and John spends the next fifteen minutes dodging questions with vague yet convincing answers while at the same time pumping her for information.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Persuasive Power of Kelpies and Taxes

**Author's Note:**

> Many many thanks to notsodarling for putting up with me filling her inbox with fic snippits and beta reading. Also many many thanks to Anndie1326 for beta reading funsies. <3

John finds out on a Tuesday that Stiles and Derek got married. He runs into Rhonda from the County Clerks Office who happily congratulates him and John spends the next fifteen minutes dodging questions with vague yet convincing answers while at the same time pumping her for information.

He has never been so grateful for the skill set he's acquired during his years in law enforcement.

While his first instinct is to drive out to Stiles' and Derek's place and demand an explanation, John calls Melissa instead who fortunately hasn't gone in for her shift yet. Unfortunately, Scott is over.

"Wait, this is the same couple that's said for years that marriage wasn't something that was for them…" Melissa says sounding just as confused as John feels.

There's a shuffling on the other end of the line and then suddenly, " _Are you freaking kidding me?! They got married?! What!?_ " Scott yells and oh boy, this has officially gotten out of hand in a hurry.

So, that's how it ends up being John, Melissa, and Scott riding out in the cruiser to the boys' house. When they get there Scott just wants to barge in, but John and Melissa opt for crowding around the front stoop and throwing on their "Disappointed Parent" faces. Scott tries for "Disappointed Alpha" but the crooked line of his jaw kind of ruins the effect.

John rings the doorbell.

And they wait.

And wait some more.

And then the locks are thrown and the door slowly swings open revealing the wary pair of idiots that John loves so much.

"Um, hi there?" Stiles wiggles his fingers in greeting and looks less than convinced that it's the right move to make.

"Hello, son. There anything you feel like telling us?"

"Um, we just saved a bundle on car insurance?" Stiles replies and Derek grimaces.

"Because you're married now? Because that's what happens when people get married? They save money. On things." Scott explodes and John gives the boys credit. They both look pretty damn chagrined.

"Actually," Derek begins, voice quiet, "Yes?"

Melissa, bless her, just sighs and says. "Alright you two let us in. You've got some 'splainin to do."

They're lead into the living room and while John, Melissa, and Scott take a seat on the sofa, Stiles and Derek remain standing. Well, Derek casually leans against the buffet with his arms crossed and Stiles nervously paces in front of him gnawing on his thumbnail.

"Soooooo, how'd you find out?" Stiles finally asks.

"Rhonda," John replies simply.

Stiles spins and cuts a sharp look at Derek, "I told you she was the weak link."

Derek arches an eyebrow. "And I distinctly recall agreeing with you."

Stiles runs his hands through his hair before he kind of deflates and takes up position next to Derek their sides pressed against one another. “So, remember when we were in New York and I landed in the hospital because of that Kelpie we had a run in with that'd taken up residence in the Hudson?” Stiles asks.

Everyone nods and Stiles looks to Derek who exhales slowly, steeling himself for whatever it is he’s about to say.

"The doctors wouldn't let me back to see him because I wasn't family," Derek tells the floor like it's some great shame and John winces in sympathy.

"No, dude," Stiles snaps and turns to Derek, "they didn't not just let you in. They gave you massive amounts of shit for it and threatened to call security and have you thrown out."

"That was like, six months ago," Scott says. "Why now?"

"Actually they got married last month," John clarifies.

"Taxes," Stiles blurts out and then blushes.

Melissa makes an amused sound. "So let me get this straight: a life and death altercation didn't light a fire under your asses. Paying the federal government did."

"More like," Derek begins, clearly choosing his words carefully, "I took a look at what our taxes would be if we filed jointly. That lead to making some calls regarding how being married would impact our insurance..."

"And then compounded with what happened in New York it just seemed like a logical thing to do…" Stiles finishes and reaches out to grab Derek's hand. Derek accepts and intertwines their fingers together.

John sighs and runs his hands over his face. God, these two. "And you didn't tell anybody because?"

"We didn't want it to become a thing," Stiles answers simply and honestly. "I mean, does it really change how you guys look at us and our relationship?" And as much as he hates it, John can see his point, but before he can say that Scott says an exasperated 'Dude' before he starts to rant.

"It has nothing to do with how we see the two of you, you know that. Well, it does, but not like that. It's about the party. It's about getting everyone together and drinking too much and eating too much and buying you weird ass kitchen gadgets to celebrate how awesome you are together. There's this batmobile platter thing that I've been dying to get you but would make no sense as a gift for anything else. So like you totally have to have at least a reception."

Melissa hums in agreement, "It's not like you'd have to do any planning for it. I'm sure Lydia will take over if you want her to or not."

Both Stiles and Derek blanch. "You have no idea how terrifying of a statement that is…" Derek says blandly while Stiles nods his head in agreement with all the grace of a bobble-head toy.

"You know," John says, thinking. "I still have your Han Solo and Luke Skywalker action figures in a box in the basement. I'm sure we could clean those up and you could use those as cake toppers…"

And as expected Scott chimes in with a confused "Who?" even though Melissa has told John that he's watched episodes four through six plus the Ewok movie. Derek must detect the lie because while Stiles is throwing up his hands in exaggerated dismay, Derek just arches an unimpressed eyebrow. And John? John can't help but laugh at his idiot boys.

**Author's Note:**

> I can be found on ye olde tumblr here: http://talesfromthemek.tumblr.com/ :)


End file.
